The Covid Curse of the Single Young Maiden
Updated: Nov 22, 2020
Let’s be honest.
Being single in your 20’s is tough.
Throw in a major pandemic, periodic lockdowns and lack of social gatherings.
For all us singlies (single ladies) out there it can feel like you’ve truly been cursed.
Being isolated from all the people and endeavours that used to fill your day and distract you from your perceived lack of a vocation, is not easy.
Major world events have a way of making us ask the big questions of life we might usually ignore in our day to day.
What is my purpose in life?
Am I doing what I’m really meant to do?
What’s the point of all this?
What is my vocation?
Who am I going to marry?
I can’t tell you how many mid-20’s crises I’ve had over these very same questions since March of this year. I know I’m not the only one.
So are we really cursed?
Is 2020 really the lost year ?
Looking at things through the lens of the world, the answer is a resounding yes.
A famous article in the UK Independent, entitled “The lost year: How the pandemic pressed pause on the world of dating ” highlights the woes of young single individuals in the time of Covid-19. Author Olivia Petter writes, “When the UK went into lockdown, single people were forced to press pause on their love lives. Flourishing flirtations were cast aside; random hookups became a distant memory. Romance, as it was known, screeched to a halt.”
As Catholic Christians we are called to see the world and our situations through the lens of Scripture and Church teaching.
As Pope Francis said in his Easter Urbi et Orbi message, “This is not the time of God’s judgement, but of our judgement: a time to choose what matters and what passes away, a time to separate what is necessary from what is not. It is a time to get our lives back on track with regard to God, and to others.”
So whereas the world sees the Covid-19 pandemic as a cursed year for single persons, we are called to see this time as a blessing in disguise. As stated in Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Whether or not you feel cursed or blessed this year as a single person begins with discerning what is God’s will for you at this time.
Have you already discerned that you are in fact called to marriage?
Instead of moping about the current state of affairs of your dating life, why not try online dating?
There are multiple sites to choose from which promise faith focused dating. Some examples include, CatholicChemistry, CatholicMatch and CatholicSingles.
Having tried these myself, I would recommend entering the online dating world with limited expectations, especially in a time when you are more vulnerable emotionally. While they have a lot of opportunity and a great many success stories, if your experience is not positive, this can add to your feelings of isolation and loneliness.
If you are still in the process of discerning your vocation, you may have to dig a little deeper as to how God wants to use this time. Start by aligning your will with God’s.
As beautifully stated by Edith Stein,
“That which is not personally chosen and made one’s own, freely and joyfully, can be accomplished only by the woman who sees God’s will at work in the force of circumstances and aims at nothing else than to harmonize her own will with the divine. Whoever makes her will captive to God in this way can be certain of a special guidance in grace”.
Nothing is lost on God, if you “make your will captive to Him” He can use you to do great things, not only in your own life but in the lives of those around you.
I know it’s not easy, especially when you have to battle with feelings of loneliness and low self-worth.
The lack of physical, real-time communication is not just isolating but can be emotionally debilitating.
God sees you and He loves you. He hasn’t forgotten you, especially now. Don’t forget that He knew when the pandemic was going to come around, you would still be single.
What is He trying to teach you at this time?
How does He want to use your emotional availability to serve others who might need a kind word or a listening ear?
Pandemic or not, your season of singleness is a time to grow in selfless love and service in preparation for your vocation, whether this is married life or religious life. It is an amazing opportunity for God to open your heart to love in new and creative ways. You just need to be open.
The lifting of the curse lies not in meeting your future spouse but in beginning each day with renewed hope and gratitude that God has a plan for you in every season, especially this one!