Feeling Rejected?

“You are altogether beautiful my darling, and there is no blemish in you.” Song of Solomon Ch 4:vs 7

You are finally in that stage of your life where you see the God given beauty that shines within you.

You know that you are a beloved daughter of the Most High God.

You can delight in the gifts that God has given you and you experience joy in sharing those with others.

You can even pinpoint the good qualities that you have to offer and you know that you are an all-round good catch.

The only problem is that men don’t seem to agree.

No one’s asking for your number.

No one lights up when they see you coming and you haven’t been on a real date in a long time, if at all.

You still feel invisible.

Meanwhile all your friends are being picked. Even random acquaintances or girls younger than you and you begin to wonder,

“Do they have something that I don’t?”

Or maybe you know the feeling of being crazy about someone who’s just not that into you.

He spends time with you, and he calls when it’s convenient.

You enjoy his company and want to be more than just friends.

But deep down inside you know that you’re just a placeholder or a little entertainment until he gets who he really wants.

Maybe your "guy" is really sweet and honest and has already let you down nicely or put some distance between you.

But many of us have probably experienced even Christian men who string you along to get your attention, an ego boost or of course sex.

This stings.

Side note: (This goes for both genders as we as women can definitely do the same to men we don’t really like, keeping them around to feel good about ourselves, and fill the void of loneliness.) 

There may be so many things you like about this person and it can be very painful to find out that they don’t feel the same connection.

You go over the list in your head, trying to figure out why.

“Am I not his type physically?” you ask yourself.

“Maybe he likes short girls and I’m too tall, maybe he prefers skinny and I’m too curvy.”

You wonder what it is about you that isn’t good enough.

I would like to invite you to please stop that right now.

Princess of God, your value has always been and will always be immeasurable.

As St Josemaria says,

“You are worth every drop of the blood of Christ.”

The same God who created the moon, ocean and everything beautiful created you with all your unique qualities and He rejoices over you everyday with singing.

If the all-powerful King of the Universe is crazy about you then why does the opinion of some random guy matter?

This is why the number one thing to do when you’re feeling rejected is to nurture your relationship with God.

Spend time talking to Him, purposefully read the bible, frequent the Sacraments and go to adoration.

Adoration is one of the best things you can do when feeling rejected.

In adoration you get to worship Your creator face to face and allow Him to give you the validation, love and approval that you crave.

Eventually you will find that He is enough to satisfy you.

You will see that as long as He is pleased by you, you do not need to chase the approval of men or the world.

Wanting love, and approval from men is a natural, beautiful thing that is in our nature as women but our ultimate end should always be intimacy with our Creator.

Another thing to know is that not everyone is going to like you or see all that is beautiful within you even though it is intrinsically there.

That’s just a fact of life.

Everyone has different tastes and opinions.

I remember when my friend told me that she didn’t think Collin Firth was attractive. I thought, “Wow you must be crazy!”

This just goes to show that you could be stunning; an absolute gem inside and out (and you absolutely are!) and there will still be some guys who cannot see it.

Why would you want someone who can’t see your value anyway?

The one who God has for you will.

He will know that :

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22.

He will fight hard for you, slay dragons and love you truly by God's grace.

He will be in awe of your virtues and recognize that your womanhood is truly a jewel of Creation.

But until he comes along..

Don’t feel rejected.

You are never rejected by God.

Sometimes God has you hidden to protect you from heartbreak, to keep you pure and unscathed.

For those of us who have been scathed, it was to teach us important life lessons, for practice and also so that when we find the one God has for us we will be able to appreciate him even more.

The best thing to do is continue loving God and His people, work on yourself and trust in His perfect timing.

He has you in the palm of His hand.

Lots of Love,

Maggie.